SAY WHAT YOU MEAN

By David Dehaas

You have picked up a magazine and you are reading an article right now. We can assume from these two facts that you have good reading skills. Now, how many times have you -- a person with good reading skills -- read assembly instructions for a piece of equipment, a procedure, a policy or a memo that has left you scratching your head and completely baffled?

Many times, if you're like most of us. Now imagine how confused a person reading those things would be if he or she had some degree of difficulty reading. Or if that person were still in the process of learning the English language. Figures on literacy consistently suggest that up to 40 per cent of people in Canadian workplaces have problems reading, ranging from complete illiteracy -- can't read a word -- to various types of "reading deficits" in which the reader can make out the words but has difficulty grasping the meaning of sentences. That can be a problem wherever you rely on written policies, procedures, labels, signs or memos for important safety instructions.

The solution is writing for maximum comprehension. It's not "dumbing down", which offends almost everyone. It's not the difficult concepts, complex ideas or even technical terms that create many of the problems; people with difficulty reading are not necessarily unintelligent.

What they need is clear writing, and it's actually very easy: Just say what you mean. That's the basic rule, the guiding principle and all you really need to keep in mind. Say what you mean, in precisely the way you would say it if you were explaining in person, and then write it down. Okay, you can then polish it a little, take out unnecessary words, put everything in the right order and fill in any gaps, but the final version should be simple, straightforward and to the point.

Here are some of the most important points to keep in mind when writing material that people with widely varying reading and English language abilities need to understand.

Difficult: It is always necessary to ensure that learning is facilitated in a site-sensitive and audience-responsive context.

Problem: This is a fairly straightforward statement that a room full of experienced trainers would understand instantly. It refers to three principles of adult learning that those people would already know well: "facilitated", "site-sensitive" and "audience-responsive" all embody important concepts. But anyone who doesn't have a background in education would be left unsure of the practical application of the sentence.

Solution: Say what you mean directly. Don't make statements that rely on the reader to understand the terms of reference or the background to the statement.

Better: Make sure that what you are teaching is tailor made for the people in the class. This is somewhat less specific than the difficult statement, but the bulk of the meaning is there, and, more important, it's instantly understandable. Don't say that "There is a requirement to enhance ventilation." Say, "We need to bring in more fresh air." Don't say, "It is necessary for supervisors to ensure worker compliance with procedures at all times." Say, "It is the supervisor's job to make sure everyone follows the rules all the time." Don't say, "It is necessary to produce accessible written communications." Say what you mean: "Write so that everyone can understand."

Difficult: When defusing the bomb, cut the red wire. But, before you do this, make sure you have unplugged the green connector and attached a ground wire, or the bomb will explode. (Readers old enough to remember the TV show "Get Smart!" will recall that this was a popular gag on the show. But many "step-by-step" instructions are written in the same, remarkably un-funny way.)

Problem: "When", "before" and "you have unplugged" are all important cues to the order in which the task must be performed. But a reader with either limited English language skills or difficulty in assembling the meaning of a complex sentence, will tend to carry out the steps in the order they are presented.

Better: Unplug the green connector. Attach a ground wire from the end of the green connector to ground. Then cut the red wire.

Solution: Put the ideas in the right order. It's much easier to understand instructions, or to grasp a concept, if each idea builds on the one before it. In describing steps for a task, put them in the order in which they are performed. A person following the instructions would have far less trouble understanding a sequence of short, to-the-point steps. That way, the reader doesn't have to do any mental gymnastics to put the ideas together in a way that makes sense.

Difficult: Eschew the utilization of abstruse nomenclature unless such verbiage is unavoidable.

Problem: The example is extreme, but there's an important principle to consider. There are many words that even the best educated among us don't fully understand. But we have a rough idea and the context let's us guess the rest. But if there are two or three such words in a sentence, the uncertainty becomes so great that the sentence is meaningless. Better: Don't use big words if you don't have to.

Solution: When you're writing instructions, choose the same words that you would use if you were telling someone how to do the job. Look for shorter and more common words.

Difficult: A padlock should be applied to the electrical box after the power has been turned off.

Problem: The word "padlock" is the subject, but there is no indication of who it is that does the applying. It will leave some people uncertain of what to do. This is the passive voice, an unnecessarily complicated sentence structure in which the subject of the sentence receives the action of the verb. It makes the statement vague and a little uncertain. Also, many languages do not have, or rarely use, a passive voice. This makes it especially difficult for people learning English to understand passive-voice sentences.

Better: Put a padlock on the electrical box after you turn the power off.

Solution: Always use the active voice. The subject performs the action described by the verb. (In the above example, the subject is an understood "you". You put the padlock on the electrical box.)

Difficult: Choose the tool for which the instructions call to remove the bolts by which the cover is attached.

Problem: Those little prepositions (with, for, by, on, to) are the hardest part of any language to learn, and they are also vital to the meaning of the sentence. Anyone with limited English language skills who misses one will not be able to make sense of the sentence.

Better: Check the instructions to pick the right tool. Use it to remove the bolts that hold the cover.

Solution: Prepositions are words that show the relationship between the other words in the sentence. Cut out as many of them as possible, and reword the sentence to show the relationships using nouns and verbs. Don't say, "The panel, which has to be locked out by an electrician, is located in the electrical room." Say, "The panel is located in the electrical room. It must be locked out by an electrician."

Difficult: It is necessary to ensure that the accurate records of all items used are kept in the first aid room.

Problem: It's often tempting to say "one must " or "it is necessary to" when writing instructions, but it can leave the reader confused. It's not absolutely clear that the statement requires the reader to take a particular action.

Better: If you use any supplies from the first aid room, you have to write it down in the log book.

Solution: Use the second person singular to address the reader directly. "You must" makes it clear that the reader has to do something. "It is necessary to ensure that accurate records are kept" is a general statement that may be interpreted as meaning that someone else will do it.

Difficult: Always plug outdoor extension cords into ground-fault circuit interrupter outlets only.

Problem: People with difficulty reading, or who are in the process of learning English, are most likely pretty good at figuring out the essence of most sentences. But they would look at this one and conclude that the important parts are "plug extension cord into outlet" and ignore the rest.

Better: If you use an extension cord outdoors, make sure it is plugged into a special outlet called a "ground-fault circuit interrupter". This type of outlet will protect you against electric shock.

Solution: Watch out for difficult words or terms that have important meaning. If a reader who doesn't know the meaning of the word can't guess it from the context, reword the sentence or explain the meaning of the word.

Here are a few more general rules to keep in mind.

* Use the present tense as much as possible.

* Try to write with nouns and verbs, the basic and easiest to understand parts of speech. If the adverbs and adjectives are important, consider putting them in separate sentences as separate ideas.

* Keep sentences in natural order (subject first, verb in the middle and predicate last).

* Put one idea in one sentence.

* Do not use contractions. (If Commander Data, who revealed in one episode of Star Trek episode that he speaks five million languages -- including French -- cannot use contractions, imagine how hard they are for people learning English.) Also, especially in negative statements ("Do not use") the use of the separate word "not" gives the statement more emphasis.

* Do not use figures of speech or cliches.

* Stay away from trendy jargon, politically correct relabeling and invented nonsense terms.

* If you use a bullet list to describe a procedure, make sure every point has a clear subject, verb and perhaps an object.

Following these rules, keeping all written communication simple and direct in structure, will not make everyone in the workplace a successful reader. People who cannot read at all, and those with very limited English language skills will still require other means of communication -- verbal explanation, symbols, diagrams and even translation. But writing for maximum comprehension will make it easier for people to understand, cut down on errors and confusion and increase the percentage of people who understand what you are writing.

David Dehaas is the editor of ohs canada.

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